As a successful entrepreneur and the founding National Chair of the United Way of America’s Women’s Initiative, Melanie Sabelhaus has many conversations with powerful people. Some focus on her philanthropic causes; others on building a client list for her company; but, just as often, it’s Sabelhaus opening her own network to a new contact. However, even she was surprised to receive a call back in 2002 from a friend and business colleague informing her that she had been recommended for a position in the White House. Within a few months of the phone call, Sabelhaus was appointed to Deputy Administrator of the Small Business Association.

If you’re thinking, “I couldn’t possibly build a network that reaches all the way into the White House,” then keep reading. Creating a high-impact network can be done, but it takes focus, preparation, a performance record, and most of all, good manners. The following are some insider tips from Sabelhaus and others who, from the outset of their careers, recognized that in order to stand out from the crowd and make the connections that count, they needed to move beyond the small talk.

She Shoots, She Scores, She Goes for the Goal

When you play a sport, it’s quite easy to focus on a single goal (literally)! But when it comes to networking, we’re sometimes reluctant to pursue a goal with the vim and vigor we would if we were thrown into a sports arena. Vance LaVelle, executive vice president of customer sales for Sirius Satellite Radio in New York, attributes much of her networking and career success to being a goal-oriented person. “In life there are leaders and followers,” says LaVelle, “I believe in knowing where you are going.” This helps her proactively identify which events she attends, who she wants to meet at an event, and even what she will say when she meets them.

Sabelhaus, now a partner at Superior Financial Group in Walnut Creek, California, takes her networking as seriously as LaVelle. When she was growing her first company, Exclusive Interim Properties, she and her team would meet every Monday morning and go over their networking spreadsheets for the week. Their goal was to meet all new executives and other high-profile figures temporarily moving into or around the Baltimore area. Sabelhaus’ strategic and methodical approach helped her leverage her business to the point that within 10 years, her company prospered and they did an IPO.

However, it’s not enough to have an overall networking goal or even a strategy. Successful networkers like Sabelhaus and LaVelle are also thoughtful about details, especially when it comes to how they go about meeting and engaging the interest of heavy hitters and influencers.

Making Sure You Have a Seat at the Right Table

Everyone knows that they need to have a seat at the table to get in on the conversation. This means showing up at the events or activities where key influencers are in attendance. But how do you ensure you get a good seat or even a chance to mix and mingle with decision-makers? Often, these individuals are at invite-only events, seated at reserved tables, or having cocktails at separate VIP receptions to which you might not have access.

Susan Schiffer Stautberg is the president of PartnerCom Corporation in New York City a company that assembles and manages advisory boards for businesses, governments and non-profits. In essence, her business is putting together many different tables where high-powered conversations take place. How does she find people? Through groups like the Women Corporate Directors (WCD). Founded by Stautberg in 1999, the WCD includes over 200 women who currently sit on boards. Members meet for regular dinners in their regions and discuss corporate governance issues as well as share new board openings so that members can leverage non-profit or private board work into seats on more high-profile, public boards. Potential members are introduced to the group as dinner guests of existing members.

Joining a high-level network is clearly one way to be in the presence of decision-makers. But, for those who are not currently qualified to join a national group like WCD, or even a local group with a similar goal, Stautberg suggests that non-profits are a great alternative. However, you still need to get behind the velvet ropes and make the leap from the peanut gallery to the head table even at a non-profit. “You can do this by asking questions,” advises Stautberg. “Find out from organizers how one gets invited to attend the VIP reception or sit at the VIP table.” You might discover that it’s a matter of having your company sponsor an event or that you may need to make a slightly higher or more strategic personal donation.

For example, if you’ve been donating small amounts each year to a certain charity, find out if giving at the next level, or pledging a larger amount to be paid out over a few years, scores you a seat at a front table or invitations to other private events throughout the year. An added bonus to raising your donation profile is that invite-only events often build their lists based on who they see listed as contributors to other non-profits. Increasing a donation at one organization will not only help that non-profit (and your relationship with that organization), it could lead to higher-level invites to other events in your community.

Not sure where you should focus your efforts? Colleagues in your existing network might be able to help you determine whether an event is worth the investment of both your time and money. Paige Arnof-Fenn, CEO of the Boston-based marketing strategy firm, Mavens & Moguls, LLC, frequently calls upon her existing network when making these decisions. This helps her focus her time and business development budget on only those events with the most potential for bigger impact networking.

Even if budgetary constraints might preclude you from actually sitting down to dine with VIPs, you can still meet influential people at an event. LaVelle from Sirius Radio, like Stautberg and Arnof-Fenn, believes that inquiring minds reap great rewards, and recommends chatting with the host or someone who might be able to make an introduction for you, and asking for their advice on how you could go about meeting a particular individual. LaVelle notes “in most cases, when politely asked for advice, people do make the extra effort to help”.

Exchange Ideas, Not Just Business Cards

Now that you’ve scored that coveted invite or introduction, what happens next? Susan Stautberg of PartnerCom likes to use the term “go deep fast”. She finds that people want quick in-depth discussions as that makes people memorable.

The type of information that one might find memorable may vary from person to person and LaVelle recommends that you do your homework in advance. “You need to understand how others derive value; and how you can be a component of that, whether it’s [business-related], emotional support, entertainment value, or a common interest.” She advises that you consider how to make your conversation a memorable win-win for both you and the potential new contact before you meet them face-to-face.

Preparation is important because high-profile individuals are often in demand and have their own agenda for attending an event or participating in an activity. Moreover, that agenda probably does not include meeting you. Susan RoAne, a speaker and author of the newly updated, How to Work a Room: Your Essential Guide to Savvy Socializing (Collins, 2007) emphasizes that in order to not waste anyone’s time, you must prepare what you have to say in advance. However, RoAne shuns the idea of an “elevator speech” as it may be too long, sound too one-sided, and even sales-y. Instead she recommends rehearsing an opening line that sounds more like an “off the cuff” remark.

If you only have time for a brief handshake and hello (as opposed to striking up a casual conversation), RoAne suggests that when introduced, you say something flattering along the lines of, “I’m so happy to meet you…you’re one of the people I’ve been inspired by,” and then bring up your mission in a single sentence. Finish off by asking if there is someone in their office who you could speak with further. This shows them your respect for both their time and position. “Do not trap them,” warns RoAne, “because if you do, they might not forget you, but it won’t be for a good reason.”

Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About

Many of the women interviewed for this article have made themselves memorable for good reasons as some of their biggest networking payoffs came about while pursuing other goals. Sabelhaus was organizing and raising money for the United Way when she was tapped for the White House position. And LaVelle’s earlier role as Chief Marketing Officer at PNC Financial Services in Pittsburgh was also the result of someone putting her hat in the ring without even telling her.

How did this happen? One benefit of building up a strong network is that it enables you to get your exemplary work record in front of influential people. Leslie Green is the Managing Partner of Roffe & Green Inc, a New York-based consultancy that specializes in interim management for underperforming companies. She sits on two private and one public board. One was the result of joining Stautberg’s WCD group, but the other opportunities arose directly out of work she had done for the respective companies as a consultant.

Personal referrals from your network and an opportunity to demonstrate your expertise can be the combination that takes your career to the next level. Says Green, “No one wants to hire a [high-level] consultant by going on the Internet and searching. They want a personal reference.” But once the referral or contact is made, it’s up to you to demonstrate that you’re the right woman for the position.

Arnof-Fenn agrees and recalls a conference she once attended overseas on behalf of one of the boards she sits on. “I spoke with a number of attendees from Asia, Europe and the Middle East over the three-day conference and for the next year fielded calls and e-mails from several of them periodically asking for advice on a variety of subjects. I always made time for their calls and responded to their e-mails thoughtfully even though I had not been formally engaged as a consultant. Within a year of meeting them, several became clients but it took at least nine months of relationship building to earn their confidence and trust.” Notes Arnof-Fenn, “In other [non-American] cultures it is common to build the relationship first, and then the business deals follow. That way you always have the strength of the relationship to fall back on if there are any bumps along the way.”

Conclusion

Just like all the years of hard work that go into the making of most “overnight sensations,” big impact networking takes planning and persistence. You need to be prepared, proactive and develop an exemplary track record for which your connections will want to rave about to others.

But what happens when we find ourselves in a potentially great networking situation, with no chance to do our homework in advance? “Sometimes serendipity can play a role,” says Stautberg. “You might not know if it’s the right opportunity, but take a gamble.” In these and all cases, author RoAne cautions us to mind our manners, treat people as people (not as contacts for your agenda), and be nice to everyone; because you never know when a little bit of small talk may lead to your next big impact career move.

Follow Up, Follow Through, and Don’t Forget to Say Thank You!

With the event season upon us, we asked Susan RoAne, speaker and author of six bestsellers on networking including How to Work a Room: Your Essential Guide to Savvy Socializing (Collins, 2007), how to keep networking from just being a “one-night stand.”

Don’t confuse mingling (working the room) with networking (building relationships). A good networker needs both skills.

A large component of networking is the “follow up.” Nothing happens if you don’t follow up on opportunities. If someone says give them a call, give them a call. If you don’t, you could lose access the next time.

It’s best to follow-up within 1-2 days. If they invite you to contact them and you wait a month, you’re sending a message that you’re not a timely person.

Find out how the person wants you to contact them (by email, telephone or through their assistant). You want to give the person the message in the form that they will receive it best.

While a handwritten note will always differentiate you, following up by email can also be advantageous. It’s quicker, and it’s much easier for a person to reply immediately to an email you send.

Finally, don’t forget to say “thank you” for their time, their advice and any other help they may give you.

SOURCES:

Melanie R. Sabelhaus

Superior Financial Group, a partner.

Phone: 410-363-7670

melaniesabelhaus1@comcast.net

Vance LaVelle

EVP of customer sales, SIRIUS Satellite Radio

1221 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020

office: 212-584-5214 fax: 212-584-5141

vlavelle@siriusradio.com

Susan Schiffer Stautberg

President, PartnerCom Corporation

17 East 89th Street, Suite 7D, New York, NY 10128

Phone:212.987.6070 fax:212.996.5151

partcom@verizon.net

www.partner-com.com

Susan RoAne

Speaker, author of the newly updated “How to Work a Room: Your Essential Guide to Savvy Socializing (Collins 2007)

320 Via Casitas #310 Greenbrae, CA 94904

Phone: 415 461 3915 fax: 415 461 6172

susan@susanroane.com / www.susanroane.com

Leslie H. Green

Managing Partner, Roffe & Green, Inc.

4 Pebble Beach Drive, Purchase, NY 10577

Tel: 914 287-0226 fax: 914 287-0229 cell: 914 924-0980

www.roffeandgreen.com

Paige Arnof-Fenn

CEO, Mavens & Moguls, LLC

617-876-0009

Paige@mavensandmoguls.com